Stranded
by Saru39
Summary: Contains suggestive 35 and a lot of retarded stuff, including: moon rocks, rubber ducks, MAJOR OOCness, and martians. Written in response to a challenge, so you've been warned ahead of time.


_**Stranded**_

Written in response to a challenge ... had to get two people off Mars in three days using a rubber duck and a moon rock, so don't blame me if it's really stupid. Major OOC, so you've been warned.

_(text) is Sanzo's entries  
text is Gojyo's entries  
some entries will be cut off or incomplete because you don't often write dashes or "…" when you leave for a period of time, you just stop writing._

* * *

**Day 1**

Um… Hakkai gave me this journal for my birthday, although I wasn't sure what to do with it I just stuck it in my back pocket. And I just happen to have a pencil with me, don't know why. Either way, I have nothing else to do, so I'll just write.

After several encounters with that strange demon, Goku finally got pissed and a full-scale battle ensued. We didn't intervene because it was just one of those things you leave alone, but then… the monkey started losing. Soon he was backed into the corner and Hakkai was getting worried. I don't like admitting it, but I was too. Just a little. Sanzo was nonchalantly lighting up again, but I have no idea what that meant in terms of his body language.

Oh hold up, Sanzo's doing something again…

OK, I'm back. Where was I? So the demon

Dammit, I can't write now.

(This is the stupid kappa's journal? Is he even intellectual enough to keep one of these things? Nevermind, if he wrote shit about me I'll just have another excuse to kiss—**kill** him. What the fuck did I just try to write! Ever since that god-damn demon beamed me, I've been having excessively irritating, random thoughts. … Damn, now I have to tear out these pages and he's going to know I was here. Or I could just steal the )

OKAY what the hell, can't a guy get some privacy around here? If Sanzo wanted paper all he had to do was ask instead of ripping it out of the book and running off. At least he didn't take the journal. I wonder if he read anything I wrote. Not that it's really important, but just the thought of him going through my stuff… like the way he steals flint from my lighter… makes me wanna take that gun of his and ram it up his

GOD. I always believed in you, but I'm asking you—in all seriousness—to GET ME THE HELL OFF THIS DESERTED PIECE OF SHIT! Piece of shit meaning "Mars." OR if you decide to leave me here, well fine, but at least kill the crazy blonde!

I think it was the beam. Sanzo got beamed by some strange energy from the demon we fought earlier, and because Hakkai was protecting Goku, I had to protect the monk. The bastard gave up attacking Goku because Hakkai's defenses were too strong, so he went for me. Hakkai intercepted the demon's blast, but we still got hit, and somehow I woke up on the red planet with a deranged monk for company. The world is fucked up.

(Sanzo was here. )

I give up. I give up, world, God, do you hear me? GOJYO GIVES UP!

* * *

**Day 2**

After last night, oh Dear God, I decided I have to get off this planet—with or without—(preferably WITHOUT) the monk! What's wrong with Sanzo, I don't know. He tries to steal my journal when I'm not looking and last night he kept me up singing campfire songs! I think his brain is deteriorating from that energy blast. Maybe it wasn't energy. Maybe it was magic. That would explain a lot.

(Miss Susie had a tug boat, the tug boat had a bell

Miss Susie went to heaven, the tug boat went to)

I—MUST—GET—OFF—THIS—DESERTED—ROCK—OR—DIE—TRYING!

(Gojyo doesn't like me, everybody hates me. My entire life I've been telling them I love solitude, and the quiet and a load of B.S. but it's not true! I really can't stand being alone. I need warmth, I need love, I need … I just found a rubber duck. )

I decided to let Sanzo write in the journal. It makes him happy and keeps him out of my hair. For a while. I've been planning how to return to Earth. I see it in the distance and I wish someone would come out to save me. Sanzo found a rubber duck that drifted in. Oh, and did I mention he wanted to play strip tag with me this morning?

(I found a moon rock too. It's a moon rock because it's not red. Everything here is red. I like purple better. I think the rock is magic. I'm hungry. Oh no, I'm starting to sound like the monkey! )

I'm dehydrated, hungry, tired, and I have a three-year-old-in-a-monk's-body to take care of. I am pissed.

He kissed me. On the mouth. Then I slugged him a good one and knocked him out.

I'm going to commit suicide.

I feel nauseated. And my vision is blurring. I can't control my hands well eith

(I woke up to see the kappa lying on the ground. At first I thought he was dead, but unfortunately, still breathing. I feel weird. My memory's fuzzy from ever since we got here. I do remember one particularly unpleasant thing before going unconscious. He tasted like Hi-Lites.

Nevermind. If we don't find water soon, both of us will die. I need to get off this planet. I have a rubber duck and a moon rock.

God damn it all. )

* * *

**Day 3**

(I woke up with Gojyo wrapped around me and when I threatened to kill him, he just smiled and went back to sleep. When I shot, he didn't flinch. I managed to pry myself out of his grip and moved myself far, far, far, far away. )

(Damn. He found me.)

(He's not trying to hug me anymore—by the reinforcement of gun-point—but something's wrong with him. He stares off into space and hums under his breath. And whenever I threaten him, he SMILES and shrugs it off. )

(I caught the attention of a passing space craft with the rubber duck. They agreed to take us back to Earth in exchange for the moon rock, which is apparently the equivalent of currency to them. They gave us water and we took the back seats. I'm waiting for everything to be over.

And I really  
absolutely  
entirely  
do NOT like the way the kappa is …  
STARING  
at me. )

THE END


End file.
